Just writing thoughts of the time between my last post and now as they come to me, not making a huge effort to force everything int order, but each paragraph should be fairly coherent in and of itself. I know I will catch flack from Luv-luv for airing dirty laundry in public, but I figure anyone who knows us and can find this blog probably already knows most of it, plus the way her actions keep showing me how little she actually cares no matter what words she uses, I just can't give much of a fuck anymore.
Let me re-list the cast of assorted characters:
Luv-luv, my wife of 19 years
TOM, my wife's boyfriend, The Other Man
Little Dude, my youngest child, my 4th son, from my ex-girlfriend
X, my ex-girlfriend, previously referred to as Sweetie I think
Lady Bug, my daughter and 4th child
Moose, my 3rd son
Boo, my 2nd son
Bombadil, my oldest son
Sweetheart, my new girlfriend
L'il Beep Beep, my first generation Rav4 that replaced my station wagon that was totaled in a collision, really fun to drive a manual transmission again.

OK, much of the past 2.5 years has been mostly crap for me. My now ex-girlfriend broke up with me just after our son was born (he's a great little dude, his big sister absolutely loves him, even if she is just a few months older then he is), Found out that Luv-luv had made some decisions about our relationship that she did not bother telling me about for a year after she made the decisions. TOM moved in with us a few months after my Lady Bug was born (that's what I call her, she is not a princess, princesses are useless, ladies are not), but before the Little Dude was born. He and I get along rather well, most of the relationship rough spots are because of how Luv-luv communicates with either of us, but those are getting rarer every week.

My family finally caught on to me being Poly about the time Little Dude was born, very difficult situation because I had wanted to let them know about it much earlier, but Luv-luv insisted I keep it quiet because she thought my mother would be furious enough to make a huge stink which could then impact TOM's joint custody of his daughter. I knew she wouldn't and that this was the worst way to go about it, but I caved in to Luv-luv. They don't like my choices, but they accept that I am going to continue no matter what they say.

After the breakup I decided to stop looking for any more intimate relationships, plus I was sleeping on the sofa since I had not yet finished the remodeling of what was to be TOM's room (initially when the day he got into town I started staying every night at the Ex's place to try and help her out, which it turns out I was crap at for her), was not too bad, it was more comfortable for me than the old mattress on the bed in the master bedroom. Worked out well for Luv-luv's new dynamic for her relationship with me, not so well for me and the old dynamic that I thought still applied. No fun getting up to use the restroom before going to sleep and getting to hear her and TOM going at it when I was not even getting her to touch me or sit beside me.

Once we got our tax return we replaced the mattress so I could move back into the master bedroom, and TOM moved to the sofa (part time, he still used the main bed when he was on night shifts), of course I had finally her confronted about the crap way I was being treated while I was on the sofa, she saw it as a purely a problem with how the person on the sofa was getting treated and immediately rectified  the situation, in TOM's favor of course. It has taken quite a while, but I finally got her to understand that I needed little things like her sitting close enough that we can touch each other without contortions some of the time while watching TV, and more contact in general, basically stuff she was doing all along for TOM in front of me. Not that it leads to anything else, no matter how much she proclaims to love me and desire me it does not feel that way when we have sex at most once a month when she is willing to park Lady Bug in front of the TV so she and TOM can fuck like bunnies in my bedroom not even 30 minutes after TOM gets home from work. Go ahead, ask me how I know- I had to go back to the house this morning to grab something I had forgotten, in the bedroom, unlocked the door, opened it, and there they were.

Finally got TOM's room finished and we finally replaced that ragged old sofa with a new one once he moved into his room. The new sofa is a bit of a sore point with me, Luv-luv insisted I go to the store to see if the sofa would be high enough for me to get off of without huge effort, when it arrived some of the feet were missing, so instead of trying to get them replaced it was decided to just use it without the extra height, which I did not find out until afterwards. I should have just made her give me the receipts and gotten the situation resolved, but she was pretty set on preferring the sofa lower, I really need to get off my butt and cut some 4x4s to make a pedestal for it so I can actually stand up without observers offering me help to stand up. (You may not know, but I am not a small guy, 6'2" in bare feet, 300 lbs, and big problems with the muscles in my ankles and feet from that whole coma thing, a month of being bed-ridden and a total of 5 weeks of my legs being so swollen from the DVT issue that a key nerve in each foot was basically killed off).

Late this past Spring I started chatting with Sweetheart (a widow)on-line, we were first talking about things like camping, prepping, things like that. after a month or so we finally met, it was not an instant connection for me, but there was enough there for me to want to get to know her, and her kids better. All 3 of her kids are special needs of some sort or another, none of them are developmentally delayed, apparently it may all be from her husbands exposure to chemicals while in the Air Force during Desert Storm. They are all great kids, and I care about them almost as much as my kids already. Sweethearts husband died almost 2 years ago from a massive heart attack while driving, the truck was not moving very fast, and only knocked down a block fence, they put him on life support briefly, but there was nothing they could do. She and her kids freaked out some when they saw the pictures of me in the hospital with all the machines around me.

Anyway, Sweetheart lives about 45 minutes away, and I drive L'il Beep Beep over there twice a week to spend time with her and her kids. The commute allows me to listen to audio books, right now it is Great Expectations.